How to Stop Rushing: The One Decision That Changed the Way I Live
- Jul 18
- 7 min read
There's a lot of content out there about how to slow down. Five tips. Ten morning habits. A whole routine to follow. Maybe some of it works for some people. But that's not what this post is about.
I would rather come at this from an inner work point of view. So instead of telling you — do this, this, and this — I want to share a story and my learnings.
The Decision That Helped Me Stop Rushing
When I started working as a carer for a supported holiday company a few years ago, I already knew from previous care experience how stressful it could be.
Everybody rushing. Everybody stressing. That's just the nature of it — or maybe the perceived, created nature of it.
But before I started working there, I made myself a promise. I will not rush. I will not stress. I don't care if everybody else is stressing, I will not let that consume me.
I just kept to my knowing that everything is fine the way it is, and everything gets done anyway, one way or another. Maybe sometimes a little later than desired, but we never had a huge problem because of that. Life went on and we had a great time daily. In fact, as I'm writing these lines now and trying to remember back to the days where we had some difficulties… I can't recall anything. So did it even matter? 😊
Most of the time, I really kept to my promise to myself — after all, I already respected and loved myself enough not to let stress take over.
Why Are We Always Rushing?
And perhaps this is where it starts. Why are we even rushing? What do we stress about — that we'll miss out on something, that not everything will get done? Why do we try to cram 536594 to-dos into one day?
Going back… there were people complaining I was driving too slowly — I was just sticking to the speed limit, to be honest — but I wasn't bothered. They could rush as much as they wanted. I wasn't going to. Because, many years before working for this company, when I first started working as a carer, I actually made a decision there too.
That no matter how late I was running behind with service users — because of how the schedule was done by the office, due to not enough staff — I wasn't going to lose my licence just to get somewhere five minutes sooner.
How Making a Decision Can Change Everything
What I developed inside was a really strong inner commitment to that decision, on both occasions. And things started almost falling into place.
Once a decision, a commitment, is made, things start falling into place.
I know that may not make sense — especially since it sounds so simple, when maybe you wanted me to hand you a pre-written formula that will work for you. But here's the beauty of it all: you'll get to find out what suits you and who you are by allowing it to come through naturally, rather than resisting by trying to fit into something that isn't you. And don't turn this into another tickbox…another way to beat yourself up if it’s not done the right way..
Slowing Down as a Way of Life
And so, slowly, I extended that intention — no stress, chilling, allowing myself to move through life at my own natural pace — to other areas of my life. And I want to say something here: we tend to break our lives into separate bits. Work. Home. Relationships. Health. But really, life is whole. Every part is part of the whole. So when something shifts in one area, it ripples into everything else.
Without me really realising, slowing down became a way of being.
I'm not saying I never overload myself. I do. I have people around me who remind me to slow down. And not long ago I experienced burnout — but that happened because I was doing something I didn't really want to do, alongside trying to rush things into fruition… but that's another topic for another day 😊
Learning to Move Through Life at Your Own Pace
These days I don't feel rushed to do the house chores. When I'm tired, even though I don't necessarily like the mess, it's okay. I'd rather chill or have my coffee and chocolate instead of rushing to do stuff.
Same with our work in Flow and Layers movement. We keep building it, but we let rest and joy be present too, and trust that whatever's done is enough at any given time.
You can ask yourself — is this really important right now? Some people say, well, if I don't do it, it'll play on my mind. Yes. And that's exactly where the real work is — learning to tame the mind. You can start rewriting the story.
Rewriting the Beliefs That Keep You Busy
Why is it playing on your mind? How does it make you feel when you leave something undone? What does that voice say — it should be this way, you should be doing this — why are you should-ing yourself?
It's worth sitting with those questions. You don't always need to find the root of a belief — I find it useful, but I don't always have to these days. Once I become aware of the pattern, I can rewrite it more or less straight away.
And it doesn't have to be a big shift. Start small. Give yourself a little permission:
Just tonight, I'll leave the dishes.
Tonight I'll ask the children to help me with something. (Which teaches them too, by the way — that home is shared, that they're part of it.)
This week I'll outsource one thing that drains me. And if money feels like the barrier — hold the intention anyway. Start with the decision that this is what you want, and then start finding a small way. The how tends to show up once the why is clear.
When Your Worth Becomes Tied to Productivity
Here's something else worth looking at. A lot of us have grown up with the idea that the more we do, the more productive we are, the more worthy we become — the more responsible we'll be seen as, and then we can finally feel good about ourselves. So we keep going. We keep adding. We keep rushing.
Not because we love it. But because somewhere underneath it all, we've tied our worth to our output.
That's the belief worth looking at. Not your to-do list.
How to Slow Down as a Parent
A note for parents
I know what some of you are thinking. Yeah, but you don't understand — I've got children.
But here's the thing. You are always training your children. Are you rushing around and stressing, or are you becoming the space where everything is calm, where everybody matters?
The mum matters just as much as the children.
It doesn't matter what you say to them. They copy the behaviour. What you show them is what they're going to take with them.
Two Simple Ways to Stop Rushing
So really, if I had to give you tips, they would be these:
Make a decision. An intention. A commitment to yourself. Know that you deserve a nicely paced life.
Become aware. Notice when you're slipping back into old habits and the rushing. Take a moment, or two, or however long you need, to remind yourself of your promise — and to be your own best friend.
There's nothing wrong with being busy sometimes, or doing a lot. What matters is the intention behind it — that's what's really behind every single thing we do, and everything we don't do.
And if I'm inviting you to change anything, it's just your belief system. To start believing that there is something else to life. That there is more. And that more is enjoyment. And ease. And actually being present for it.
We can always use excuses for why we can't change something, why it's too difficult, why it's hard. But everything is a belief.
What a Slower, More Peaceful Life Can Look Like
My life looks pretty quiet on the outside these days. It might even seem boring to some people. But I'm pretty self-contained. I'm happy with what I have. And that doesn't mean we have to stop where we are — we can always make changes.
But every now and then I reflect back, and I think — how did I manage to squeeze so many things into my life? Working full time, getting to work for eight, sometimes seven, sometimes six in the morning.
Whereas now, it's a struggle to roll out of bed at eight because I'm just enjoying myself. Making coffee, going back to bed, contemplating, doing my language lessons, chatting to people. Then my little classes, a walk, sitting down for contemplation.
Some people say I still have productive days. But I know what I was like before. And compared to that — this is almost nothing. If I'm coming from a doing, doing, doing point of view, this is almost nothing.
But I have such peace. And honestly? That's everything.
Choosing Wellbeing Over Constant Rushing
When you are really committed to yourself and to your own wellbeing, and you slowly start leaving behind the old conditioning and the old beliefs — you realise that so many of the things you were worrying about and rushing to do are not really that important.
If you enjoy it, do it, by all means. But if this kind of life isn't bringing you any real fulfilment — you can change it. If you want to.
What would it feel like to make that decision for yourself — even if you need to make it more than once — and see what happens?
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